I got chris browned last night
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
