Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
