I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
