i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
