Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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