my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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