Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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