You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
