i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
