Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Mom said you looked used
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
