I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
