I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
