Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
