And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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