i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
