RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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