Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
