i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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