Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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