My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
