'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
