I can tuck mytits in my pants
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
