If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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