Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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