lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
