I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
only if we run a train.
done.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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