Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
