new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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