Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
