forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Randomize
