found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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