so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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