We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
