I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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