Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Never underestimate the power of titties
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