What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
