Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
