Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
