Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
