The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Houston, we have a squirter
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
