O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
