I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
as a side note pls kill me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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