We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
