the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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