Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
