I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
