dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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