We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
