Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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