i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
