you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
